Dear @jaimie-schaefer-phd ,
Thank you for your disclosure and I trust that you have a trusted psychiatrist who is journeying with you on this mental health recovery. 

Bipolar Mood Disorder often goes undiagnosed or gets diagnosed late owing to frequent initial presentation as "depression" and sufferers go through long periods of difficulties before they finally could access appropriate correct treatment.  Those of us who experienced "mania" may have a problem coming to terms with the condition, and the fact that medication is very effective and that we will have to stay on medication for a minimum of 2 to 5 years. 

This is because after the initial response, the medication continues to help our brains achieve remission and positive change to prevent the next occurrence or relapse. The truth is that each untreated episode will get longer and more problematic for the sufferer and family members, and chance of remission and recovery may get lower. 

Therefore, all my patients with Bipolar Disorder with history of psychotic relapse stay on their lowest-dose maintenance medication and continue to remain well. They resume their life goals and managed their doctor's visits and medication.  

I sincerely hope that you continue to have open communication with your doctor. 
Stay well. Should you wish to know more, visit https://otium-mindhealth.com  
O_O